So I get an email from a dating site that I have a message from a guy I dated about six or seven years ago. My jaw dropped. Holy shitballs, I thought. This is too funny!
Actually, not so much. A little history: When we met, me and this guy “The Professor” worked for the same organization, me on staff, he as freelance. It was total brain lust. He was very smart, cute and funny but didn’t inspire that instant heat that is so familiar. Nevertheless, I wanted him.
He was pretty much clueless until I asked him out for a coffee one day that he was at the office and told him I was interested in him. I never do shit like that, but I hadn’t dated anybody since the split with my son’s father a couple of years earlier, and I truly hadn’t been interested in anyone until then. I don’t think it was about him, looking back, I think that I saw him as someone I should be with, and also as someone who wouldn’t hurt me. I was wrong and I was emotionally unprepared to date anyone at that point in my life, but I didn’t know it then.
Is it too late to make this long story short? We dated a few months, but he wasn’t really into me, though we connected intellectually. Sexually…let’s just say he had issues, and the one and only time we did it was not great. Then he gave me the “it’s not you it’s me and I’d really like to stay friends” speech. The whole experience sent me running back to celibacy.
The company we worked for went belly-up, we communicated a few times after that, then nothing until:
your photos, you look amazing. I almost didn’t recognize you. You look so dazzling, happy, joyous, thinner and sexy. As always, you look fabulous. Is your number still the same? Would love to have lunch and catch up.
Um, what? Did you catch that? He almost didn’t recognize me because I look so much better than I used to look? It’s hard to be too insulted ’cause the bastard is right. I was in the throes of an undiagnosed depression when we met. I’m happier (thanks to therapy), more confident, more positive and have finally, finally, grown into my womanhood and am owning it.
Curious, I sent him my number and he called immediately. Could not stop complimenting me, asked me about my son and my mother, and said he was dying to see me. He named a date two weeks in the future (which is this week), and said he couldn’t wait to see me. Uh-huh. Color me skeptical.
Checking out your pictures again. Damn girl, you do look fine.PPS: Should say you still look fine. You just keep getting better.
And the next day:
Woke up this morning thinking about you…all over. lol
Is that the scent of bullshit in the air?
When he called me again, I asked him what had changed. He tried to avoid the question, but I insisted, and then he said, “You know what it is — you liked me for me, with all my flaws — and that’s powerful.” I didn’t say that I’m not interested in his flaws now, but if and when we meet (because I haven’t heard from him in a few days so I already doubt this will happen), he will get the full measure of my dis-interest. But I really want to do it face to face. If he can’t even maintain a valid pursuit leading up to the first date, there’s no hope he’ll be any kind of satisfactory anything going forward. But he needs to hear it.
Image: Public domain under the Creative Commons via Pixabay.com