After writing about how most of my relationships have started with sex and developed from there, someone commented that they could relate, and that they thought it could have something to do with needing to be validated sexually. A bell went off in my head when I read this. I need to be accepted naked before I’m accepted emotionally. Why? Body issues.
But a word to women out there fighting the bulge thinking skinny is the key to the relationship of your dreams. My worst heartbreaks have happened when I was at my slimmest. Nevertheless, as women, we think that if we’re tighter, thinner, more toned, or surgically augmented, men will find us more attractive. It’s a fallacy. What they find attractive is your confidence, because the workout/surgery/or whatever makes you feel better about yourself.
The need to be accepted naked stems from history and not the present. There were plenty of times I was a wallflower at a high school dance, but there were also times I danced all night; and I had a high school sweetheart who broke my heart to little pieces when I was at my thinnest and most beautiful. The past takes on the hue of our own insecurities and issues, which are caused as much by media browbeating as by experience.
I’m finding all kinds of acceptance and appreciation right now, and reveling in it.