There is no way I could have kept my date with the ex on Friday after the day I had with the Terminator, so I let it go and we’ll get to it whenever. He’s not going anywhere.
Right now I still feel Terminator’s traces everywhere, and for the first time I woke up this morning wanting him badly. The soreness I feel (nipples, inner thighs, various other muscles) has turned into a big throbbing ache of desire. I love it when a lover leaves faint traces (bruises, bite marks, scratches) behind, but Terminator’s are all invisible and all the more powerful. The sensory and the emotional pack a powerful punch and have left me, a woman with the libido of a 16 year-old boy, hors de combat. For the moment, at least, my desire is about him and only him…dammit.
Nevertheless, I am talking/emailing with a few new guys and we’ll see how that goes. I find that once I’m physically satisfied I can make more lucid decisions about the guys messaging me — I just noticed I’m not deleting everyone in one fell swoop because they don’t seem appetizing at first glance. I’m willing to delve a little deeper, which should be standard operating procedure, no? Jeez I’m such a horndog, lol.
What am I looking for if my heart is otherwise engaged? I’m learning how to date, I’m taking my time with what my heart is telling me because I’ve never done that before either, and I’m keeping my options open.
Image: Odalisca by Ignace Spiridon [Public domain] via Wikimedia Commons