Watching for Lightning

Multiple-men-promiscuity_01I have so much dick lined up for this weekend it’s inevitable that something will go wrong and my plans will all explode in my face. So I’m confessing now. I’m planning on being a very, very bad girl. If it works out I’ll give you details. If it doesn’t, I’ll share my woe.

Mr. Jones and I have worked things out, and are back together. We’re both still cautious, but we had a long talk on Sunday evening during which we cleared the air. We admitted that we have feelings for each other and want to try again. So we laid down some ground rules and are happily, cautiously moving forward. It’s been a few days, and already I’ve seen an improvement in our relationship and communication.

I’ve been thinking what this means for me and whether I can really, really give up my slutty ways, or if I  even want to. And yes, I do. I mean I’m willing to continue in monogamy for this man because he’s important to me. At least, I thought I was willing. Then my phone started ringing and my pussy started making all the decisions. And no, I had no control. It’s been more than six weeks. That’s like ten years for normal people (reminder: I have 16 year-old boy libido); at the moment, if dick presents itself, I will sit on it.

Then my phone started ringing and my pussy started making all the decisions.

Earlier today my ex-husband called and let me know he wants to get together again, as soon as possible. We did have a talk after the last time and he denied having any feelings at all, and and blamed his behavior on the alcohol. I accepted that although I’m not altogether convinced its true. But since I have no feelings for him or intention of ever getting back together with him, it doesn’t matter. Do I seem callous? This is the man who put me and my three year-old out on the street. Years of therapy allow us to be civil, occasionally friendly co-parents. I forgave (only because of our son) but I never, ever forget.

What does matter is that I enthusiastically agreed, pressuring him to set a date. I’m rampantly horny but of course he thinks that it’s about him. I assured him it’s not, but he’s not convinced. I don’t really care as long as he fucks me. Mr. Jones and I agreed to take things slow and we may not be sleeping together for a while, so I said yes to the ex to inaugurate the new pussy, as the Terminator never got back to me.

The Twist

Late this evening, in the middle of my nightly conversation with Mr. Jones , my call-waiting beeps and I see Terminator’s name on the screen. Without missing a beat I told Mr. Jones that I had to take a call, it was my cousin. Yes, yes bad. Very.

Terminator and I haven’t talked since July. He tried to be casual, even dismissive, but I was feeling all sweetness and light and flirted with him, asked him how he was and how he was doing, and within five minutes we were having one of those conversations that goes all over the place and is fun and interesting. And, in a first for him, he said, “I can’t wait to see you, it’s been so long.”  Actual emotion. We made a date. I told him I felt the same way and that he should have lots of condoms. He laughed. Side note: I always carry my own and so should you.

We hung up and I noticed that we had been talking for an hour. Then I had to call Mr. Jones back and finish our conversation. Yes, I’m going to hell, even though I don’t believe in hell, I believe in karma. And mine is going to be hell.

So then I start to think that it’s not fair that I can’t have sex with Mr. Jones this weekend as well. He’s busy, and I’m busy but I think we may be able to hook up for a while. He’s following my lead on the sex thing so if I want it to happen it probably will. So three guys this weekend. A record, and being a lapsed Catholic and a liar,  I’m expecting to be severely punished at any moment (and not in a good way).

Before Terminator called I was thinking about what I would say to him if he did, because I really do care about Mr. Jones and I want to be monogamous.  Earlier today I came thisclose to emailing him that I was in a relationship and couldn’t see him anymore. But I didn’t, and I think I want that one last bang before I settle down. Can you blame me? But lying to Mr. Jones? Reprehensible. I know. He and I are having lunch tomorrow, and I will see if … I can have another week before we’re exclusive again? Jeez, red flag that I’m fucking someone else…

And what if I don’t want to give up the Terminator after the next time?

Decisions, decisions.lips2

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