Terminator Epilogue 3: Heat, Emotion

“Are you sure you want to hear this?” he asks, correctly surmising that it might be uh, counter-productive to hear about his feelings for me now that I’m in a relationship.

I nod. I don’t care. I want to hear everything. This is the end of us, for a while at least. I want to know everything. But I also wondered if he was just saying all this because he knew I was with someone else and was no longer really a threat to his freedom.

“I’m really into you, I would really love to have a relationship with you, but you said that you didn’t want one, and I’m not really up to that right now, but…it’s been a struggle.”

We’re in bed (of course), casually entwined. “Really?” I say.”I can’t stop thinking about you — that argument we had? I used that as an excuse.”  Ah yes. I suspected that but wasn’t sure. This was a major admission. He wants to be self-contained and in control always.

“A relationship,” I say. “How would that even work?”  I know it wouldn’t, but I can’t stop myself from asking. He doesn’t respond. He doesn’t even look me in the face. Right. Not possible. Despite our incredible hunger for each other.

I love Mr. Jones, but for some reason I still need Terminator to love me, to want me, to fight for me. Even though I know he isn’t right for me, and even though, as my feelings for Mr. Jones become deeper, Terminator becomes less…important. I don’t say any of this. Instead, I give in to his caresses and lose myself in our hunger.

We both moan in ecstasy as he slides his long cock into me, and hits me so deeply I almost lose my senses. There is no slow gradual build up, no languorous intimacy about this fuck, just a crazy, hot pumping hunger. I feel my pussy tighten around him with each thrust, driving him crazy. His hands cup my generous ass so he can thrust more deeply (killing me). The harder he fucks me, the harder I want it. The deeper he goes the deeper I want it (yes baby, impale me), and in the midst of the grunting, screaming pumping maelstrom, I feel one of his fingers sliding into my ass. Just a little, enough to finish driving me out of my mind and over the edge into a screaming, hitting, scratching orgasm. Holy mother. When it’s over, I’m twitching and incoherent. The Terminator is kneeling between my legs, covered in sweat, breathing hard, with that lazy half smile on his face. I watch him for a few seconds as I come back to earth and catch my breath. “Turn over,” he says grabbing my knee.

Impossibly long and eternally hard, Terminator gently kisses my ass and moves up my spine, sending little shivers all over my body. Our legs entwine together of their own accord — it’s as if our bodies know each other — we’ve never had an awkward moment together. He slides one arm around my shoulder and with his other hand he guides his cock into my pussy from behind. Oh, bliss. He’s kissing my neck and back, whispering as we start fucking, sweet thing, nasty things, tender things and my name, over and over…this is new, but I like it because it gives me a glimpse of his emotions when he’s not controlling them. Then:

Do you miss this, baby? Yes (true)
You want this all the time? Yes (who wouldn’t?)
This pussy is mine? You belong to me? Yes (No. I belong to no one)
When you’re with him do you think of me? Yes (No. Never)
Is this what you want, baby, you want more? Yes. Yes. (Yes)

He thrusts like a mad man, and I tilt my ass up to meet him, wanting it harder, deeper and more violent, even though I’m practically screaming already. Fuck me, I beg, hurt me. And he does, until we both come, howling like animals.


We’ve been together five hours.
He helps me dress. We don’t talk much, but just before I leave, we share a long embrace, a tender kiss. “Can I tell you I love you now without it being a big thing?” I ask.  He smiles. “I love you too,” he says. I don’t cry, probably because I’ve cried so much over him already.
We gaze into each other’s eyes for a moment, and I turn away. “Take care and be good,” I say.

I’m not sure what I feel. It doesn’t feel real that we won’t see each other again, but I feel bittersweet. Sadness? I think I was sad but refused to admit it to myself. Not so much at losing him but at losing the sexual freedom he represents to me. I’m thankful it ended amicably and that we both wish each other the best. There is no negativity between us, only love and friendship.
J. represents something far deeper and more valuable to me. Unconditional love. There is no contest whatsoever.

 Image:  I don’t own copyright or image.
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Inaugural: Terminator Edition (Part I)

The Terminator greeted me at the door freshly showered and wrapped in a towel. I love a man with a sense of focus.  We were together again after six months, and we had unfinished business. Why waste time with clothes?

He took me in his arms as soon as we reached his bedroom and started kissing my face, my mouth, my neck, and softly biting and nibbling his way to the base of my throat. His tongue softly caressed that soft spot sending a soft wave of heat through my body.

He  maneuvered me out of my top and then pulled off my pants, kneeling in front of me as I sat on the bed. His hands followed the pants down my leg to my bare feet. He looked up at me and He had lost the towel at some point, and I glanced at his impossibly long cock and smiled. His gaze traveled up my body and back down between my legs. His lazy half smile was back. The smile that makes me want to fuck his brains out. Finally, we were in bed naked, together.

He drank me in with his hands and his mouth, and teased me with his fingers, kissing me while arousing my soft spot, making me wet and creamy with desire and then making me come in intense waves that made me clutch his hand and hump it with shameless abandon. He was all debauched encouragement, kissing me and whispering sweet and crazy things.

Then he was on his knees, and he grabbed my calves and yanked me so violently toward him I screamed. He didn’t hurt me, he startled me. Then his tongue inside me, I couldn’t think of anything else except that soft hot pressure, licking and stroking me so sweetly and insistently. That soft caress is like his huge cock, a lethal weapon. He stops and softly kisses my pussy from top to bottom; he kisses and licks the creases where my legs meet my pussy as if he was bestowing a benediction. I felt blessed. His mouth returned to my pussy where he continued stroking and teasing me, bringing me to the brink and stopping until I couldn’t take it anymore, my body was pleading with him. He started that soft caress again, tasting, stroking, pressing  that sweet spot until I came, riding his tongue to nirvana. Shivering, shaking, moaning and screaming, his tongue was my universe. Yes.

Five minutes later he’s pushing his ten-inch (it looked longer Friday for some reason) sword into me and starts slowly pumping me. It feels so good I’m whimpering. Penetration at last, yes! I can’t describe how truly wonderful it feels to be fucked these days. I don’t know if it’s hormones or what, but the moment dick touches me I’m whimpering, moaning or crying because it is so good and beautiful. With J. the feeling of that penetration is so good I’ve cried. It’s like I never want it to stop or end. And I feel this on a cellular level. With Terminator it feels amazing but less emotional.

Terminator is making me all juicy and I feel myself closing around him as he slowly thrusts into me, deeper and deeper until we reach our groove and he is impossibly deep and I’m meeting his thrusts, moaning. He’s softly saying my name, over and over like a chant. This surprises me because he’s usually so quiet. Then he lifts my legs over his shoulders and starts pounding me, hitting the spot that makes me ejaculate, yes ejaculate — like a fountain. This makes him wild — it always has — and he starts thrusting like a piston, making me squirt and yes, scream, because he is hitting me harder than ever, he is out of control, and I’m starting to come, watching his glistening dick pumping in and out of me. It hurts so good.

Later.  “Come for me,” he whispers, as he pumps me mercilessly, He is hitting me so deeply and so hard I’m helpless beneath him, and a little scared. He has never fucked me so hard and so fast. Usually he is all about giving pleasure, but now he is taking it, without mercy. He slams into me, placing his hands under my ass, lifting me off the bed so that I’m tilted toward him and all I can feel is his cock hitting me deep inside, his hands squeezing my ass and his breath on my neck and in my ear. I’m vaguely aware of a puddle, of liquid, but I’m chasing an orgasm on his luscious dick.  The delicious pain I feel with his crazed thrusts becomes stronger, more necessary, and I start to come, my pussy contracting around him, my clit at attention from the assault,  in orgasm I am moaning, howling, screaming. Oh and squirting. Terminator is the only man (so far) who can make me do this. I had no idea I could ejaculate until he entered my hallowed walls. When we get into a fucking frenzy I become a fountain, its unbelievable. And magical.

We are a tangled heap of limbs when I am aware again. The wet spot feels huge. Terminator gets a towel for the bed and I still can’t believe I really squirted all this fluid. I’m convinced his equipment is hitting a spot (the “A” spot) that makes me ejaculate and orgasm so powerfully. I have several types of orgasms, but with Terminator they are all of the very strong “in deep” variety. I’m lying on my side, dozing and he is stroking my back, leaving a trail of little kisses up one side of my body, stroking me, licking me, playing with me.

Despite the amazing sex and orgasms, something feels different. I realize that it’s me, I’m no longer in love with him. I realize that my feelings are with J. and this makes me deeply happy. I’m enjoying the Terminator but it’s clear that I have to tell him. As soon as possible, because this should be the last time we meet.  I took a deep breath and turned to face him.  (to be continued)

Image: photo by Jovan Charlton, ©Jovan Charlton 

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